Road less travelled...

Yes,,, I know I haven’t updated my blog for a few days now. I was crippled by what most writers choose to face when they are lazy – writer’s block! I was concerned about what I would write next and I got a text message from Pooja asking me to come for a screening of a short film by a fresh filmmaker, Akshay Roy. She had seen his film `The Last Dance’ a few months ago and was hosting an evening in his honor where she called a few friends (and the media) to showcase this young filmmaker’s fifteen-minute jewel of a film. It was a light but moving short film dealing with the loneliness of two old people. I was in tears with the sheer simplicity of its moments. But that’s not the point of this blog. As I sat there after the screening with enthusiastic youngsters, cynical journalists, eager (for bytes) media persons, I was staring at Akshay trying to figure out what really motivated this young man to make a film of this kind with a handsome budget of four thousand (especially after assisting Mira Nair, Deepa Mehta and Farhan Akhtar). I kept thinking about it the whole night and this morning my music teacher (Sripati Hegde) put it in perspective for me! I happened to show him (my teacher) the three DVDs of Abida Parveen’s concerts (a gift from a school friend). As I was discussing them I confessed that I was feeling a little demoralized after watching her performance because I don’t know whether I will ever be able to achieve even a fragment of what she does at the rate I was going. He smiled, “The first lesson my Guru (Pandit C.R.Vyas), taught me was never to follow him. God puts a special quality in every voice he creates… Even after my twenty years of full time singing, there are certain things your voice can achieve that I cannot reproduce! When somebody teaches you, he is just doing the job of finding that something special and polishing it! So just learn the basics and then follow your own heart… Only people who have done something new have been acknowledged!” and that brought Abida to mind instantly… She is the only woman in the world who sings the dargah devotional music publicly. Till she came along, this form of music was restricted to men! Even the stalwarts of Indian classical music, like Kishori Amonkar and Ajoy Chakraborty, salute Abida’s genius! “And mind you, these are not artistes who are impressed with perfection… they are moved only by originality!” Sripati explained. And that’s when it clicked! What separated Akshay from the rest of his generation was his originality! Of idea, of casting, of production… everything! In a world of assembly line products, he had managed to create something that was simple, moving and yet gripping! Everyone said last evening that he was a talent that would go far… But to discover the originality in your self is also to reject the temptation of constant bouquets and embrace the brickbats! As Bhattsaab summed it, “Akshay’s journey from the alone to the alone has just begun!”
And I thought to myself, very few of us really have the courage to take this lonely journey… and those are the ones who make a difference!

Is creativity overrated?

I read in the papers this morning about a lady who gave up her career as a professor and started classes to fulfill creative urges in women. She teaches them everything from bread making to bonsai. “I help them fulfill their dreams of being creative!” she says proudly. Up until the last century, it was not quite easy for people to indulge in creative pursuits. Artistes, musicians, sculptors and dancers were often ostracized for their activities. In India we have heard and read stories of how women and men veering away from their prescribed way of life were tortured by the society for deviating. But things are drastically different today. Over the years being creatively inclined has not only been accepted but also encouraged. So much so that today everyone wants to have a finger in the creative pie. Even the highly qualified professionals with great jobs are often heard complaining that they want to pursue something `creative’. Which brings us to the fundamental question: What exactly is creativity? Is it a strategy to break the norms and attract attention? Is it a way to indulge in crazy thoughts and come up with something different for the sake of it? Is it a mission that can be taken up and conquered? No one can quite say… Not even the most creative of people… Whenever I have asked anyone, be it a writer, poet, artist or a musician, their answer is they don’t know what makes them creative. For them, what they do is the way of life… I started my career as a journalist, then went on to be an associate costume designer with Manish Malhotra, then wrote a book on the making of a film (Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham) and then moved on to writing dialogue for films. I have also written over hundred poems. Today, after twelve years, people around me say I am creative… However I can assure you while I was going through the journey there was no great feeling of elation, joy or pride. In each of the above cases I was just doing a job that had to be done. As a journalist I went to the office at 11 and slogged till 6 like any paper pusher. Articles had to be finished by deadline… The angles for the interviews had to be new because of the fear of the editor… It was the mathematical calculations of fitting your thoughts (no matter how complex in the given space, in a given time… It was all far from creative! Same thing when I joined Manish… It was fighting the deadline to finish a costume… Handling the tantrums of the tailors and embroiderers… It was crisis management on the sets when the clothes didn’t fit the heroine… It was a balancing act between what looked good and what the filmmaker wanted the actress to wear (added to that was what the heroine wanted)… The creative aspect of the business was completely lost on me at the time… Today when I look back maybe I notice certain touches that may have been innovative… Even while I wrote my book it didn’t seem very fulfilling… When I finished my manuscript after a great war with the deadline, I realized I had to be ready for another one… It was the same dreaded mathematics all over again… Rabia, the designer for the book, was a tyrant who only gave instructions like, “I need twelve words off the last paragraph!” or “Your caption has to end on the third line… it cannot go to the fourth!” or “You have to find a six lettered word to replace the nine lettered word on the twentieth line in the third paragraph of page 47!” Everything was numbers and figures. So much for creativity! Even the poems I wrote… I began when I was going through a particularly trying phase of my life. No matter how much I shared, the pain didn’t die… So I started scribbling… Again I wish to say here that they were not great creative bursts… It was just a dramatic exercise to indulge in self-pity. The point I am trying to make here is that creativity is not an independent entity. It comes when you do something that you must do – no matter how mundane! I was a great fan of Rekha, the actress and I used to collect her pictures from magazines. I spent all my free time in school and college cutting the clippings and pictures to put together an album… There was no purpose or aim in doing that except that it made me feel nice. But today when people say they want to be creative they already have an eye on the applause they expect. All of us want to be in professions that give us an instant platform to be in the public eye or at least get appreciative glances from people around us… But I always say that there are two ways of leading life: Either do what you enjoy or then learn to enjoy what you do! In both the cases you will find fulfillment and creativity will be the by-product!